there are many times that i simply feel inadequate for something that i should be adequately equipped to handle.

i find myself repeating the same struggles multiple times without seeing any progress towards where i want to be [as a person].

much like the child i spoke of in a previous entry last week, i know where i need to be, but i must admit that i am comfortable where i am at right now [thank you very much].

sure, i’ll screw up – time and time again, but it is in those screw ups that i find something familiar – despite how i feel afterwards.

i can’t allow myself to slip off into a feeling of acceptance of where i am at. 

i need to want to improve…

…and i don’t know how.


kyrie eleison



2 thoughts on “

  1. Hmm. . . what you say is right, and yet.  I can’t help but think that there is a gift you just spoke of right now.  A gift you have of being content where you are.  I almost never am content where I am.  yYou have to remember that right now is where you are supposed to be, it’s not bad to be happy there.  However, as you said, this does not mean you should resist change either.  Suddenly this all seems very complicated to me.  My mind always knots up like this is endless loops when I try to write an essay.  I’ll try to simplify my thought pattern; be grateful for the past, content in the present, and ready for the future.

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