it’s been a while…

…since i’ve posted anything, really.

my alibi?  everything that needs to happen in regards to buying this townhouse [moving, phone calls, paperwork, etc…]

so, in the meantime – something i was sent that made me smile.

remember, don’t try these at home, kids. :)

———-

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the
shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct
tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKYS. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING
BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

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2 thoughts on “it’s been a while…

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