two entries in two days, what is this world coming to?
when i was younger [high school] i used to hate listening to music where i could not understand what was being sung [such as opera, or any piece that most typical high school choirs sing]. i liked to know what i was listening to, to fully understand it.
i don’t know when that changed, but now i cannot get enough of artists such as sigur ros – i have no idea what they are singing about [i once read a little bit about a song and liked my interpretation of it better], but most of their songs hold special meaning to me in one way or another, reminding me of a friend, a moment in time, a love found, a love lost, the list goes on and on…
“I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don’t want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. I’d like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.”
life is full of struggles right now, i won’t deny that.
my other half’s job situation isn’t stable, and it is a major issue of stress in her life. i half keep expecting to receive a phone call from her any day telling me that she has lost her job or that they have furhter cut her hours, and that thought keeps me up at night, i admit.
her struggling with job security brings her home tired and stressed, [and usually with a headache] and well, when two tired people meet up after a long day of work, unless a lot of grace is sprinkled in the mix, the outcome isn’t always that great. i love her with everything i’ve got, but i struggle with liking her [and i’m sure she would say the very same thing].
on top of that, one of my cats has recenty needed some medical attention, and while the vet has been very helpful and accomidating to our financial situation, the money we do have to pay is money we do not have.
i feel one financial crisis away from losing everything.
i realize that there are many people living like that, on that field, but i find myself only thinking about me and how bad i have things [all the while forgetting that i am better off than the majority of humans on this earth].
i keep repeating “daily bread” over and over again to myself, trying to remind myself that that is all i need – nothing more, nothing less. “consider the lillies of the field…”
anyway, it’s where i’m at.