writing project, version 1.0

“reason why” – rachael yamagata

i wish i knew what i was doing, where i was going.  i can see the step in front of me, but ask me to look further down the road and i’m as blind as a church mouse, hoping not to be swept out of the way by the janitor.

i’m learning to take it one thing at a time and learning to be happy with doing just that.  if i look too far down this road i get frustrated at where i’m at and how much further i have yet to go.  i need to only worry about the step that i can see and see where that takes me before worrying about the next step after that.

am i alone in this?  God i hope not.  i hope that there is someone out there that can identify with this journey i find myself on.

my life is a current that repeats the same over and over again and the ruts i’m digging are deeper than i’d care to admit.  i’d give anything to veer either to the left or the right, just enough to get out of these ruts and venture down a new path of something different, something apart from the ordinary, something new.


“guess it may” – rosie thomas

he walked up the steps that would lead him to the front door of the chapel.  “now this is a door that i haven’t darkened in a long time”, he thought.  “i wonder if God still remembers my name?”

he half expected the doors to be locked at this hour – they usually were – what with it being three in the morning on some idle tuesday.  of course the doors wouldn’t be open.

surprised, he grasped the faded brass handle and discovered that the door swung easily open to reveal a small by cozy chapel: a few pews [tattered cloth protecting the wood], stain-glass windows depicting various points of religious importance, none of which he could remember from his days going to sunday school although they did spark some emotion in him that he hadn’t felt in years.


“sunny road” – emiliana torrini

“this can’t be all to life”, she thought, grasping at the straws that life had dealt to her.  “really?  is this it?” she cried in to her handkerchief. 

it seemed like only yesterday that she had met the man of her dreams – everything was perfect, beautiful.  and now?  now, she was all alone again, her relationship victim of an affair.  “it always seems to end that way” she thought to herself, aware of the statistics that told her that her marriage was in danger from the get-go.  “as if they really last anyway” she thought.  “what was i thinking?”

she hopped in to her car and began to drive to no where in particular, mind free of any thoughts of where the four wheels of her car would take her.  if she thought about anything she found herself breaking down in tears, so this just driving helped her cope with the shock of her man leaving.


“pen and notebook” – camera obscura

seems like only yesterday that i was making plans to be someone, make something of myself.  i don’t know what i thought i would do by the time i reached this age, but this wasn’t it.  i didn’t plan to be here, no way.

by now i had hoped to travel the world, see people, experience cultures, maybe have a cat to come home to.

don’t get me wrong, i’m not mad at where i find myself, it’s just that, well, i thought i would have made something of myself by now.  you should have heard of my name by now, shouldn’t you have?

staring blankly at the page of words he had just written, he cringed.

“my life’s a fucking tragedy” he said out loud to no one in particular, realizing that the only one who could have possibly heard him was his cat who was curled up into a ball on the lower part of his bed.  “who would give a rip about me and what i’ve done?” he said, still keenly aware that even though…


“latter days” – over the rhine

you’re my favorite person in the whole world.  i don’t know if i’ve ever had the courage to tell you that, but it’s true.

i knew you were something special the very moment i met you.

meeting some people in our lives is completely up to chance.  then there are those special few whose meeting is inevitable, almost a destiny for the two of you.

what did i do to deserve your friendship? i mean, really?

i dream of that moment in time we shared, our lives running parallel to one another both in the physical sense and in all of the other senses there ever could be.  it was heaven for me – was it heaven for you, too?

i need to keep going, keep writing, but to be honest, words fall short of what i want to say.  isn’t that always the way it is?  do you really need words to express how you feel when that other person already knows how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking?

i’m glad you know me.  not many people can say that and that thought both scares and excites me.  it’s something special we share, for sure.

why me?  why not that guy across the way, mr. popular?  why did you choose me?  do i want to know?  and if you told me, would it change my life forever? 

words can never express.  i guess the saying is true, there is so much more to life than words.

“thank you” falls way short of my heart.  i wish there were more words to express just how thankful i am.

sigh…


wow – ok – so if you read this far [and God bless you!] that was my first attempt at just writing while five random songs played on my mp3 player.  each song brought about different emotions – it was quite the experiment.  i’m glad i tried it.

i didn’t realize that those dark thoughts were inside of me – i wonder what those pieces are trying to tell me?  dare i ask?  do i want to know?  really?

i’m hoping to do this same exercise every sunday afternoon/evening.

i would appreciate your thoughts/comments about this – go ahead, give me your thoughts.

traveling mercies,
jdh

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2 thoughts on “writing project, version 1.0

  1. thanks for sharing this!  now my only regret about this project is that we can’t hear the music that inspired the writing, since we all seem to have such different tastes:)i love writing as a process of self-discovery…when the honesty shines through, the way it does in this work, that’s what makes it worth reading (and worth writing, more importantly)

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