The Truth

Today, I am frightened.  I have no idea what I’m doing, where I’m going.  If I would have known when I was younger that much of adulthood was ad-libbed, I don’t think I would have been in as big of a hurry to “grow-up”.

I feel like the only thirty-something year old who has no idea what he wants to do with his life.  Intellectually, I know that this isn’t true – I know that there are others in the same boat as I find myself – it’s just that more times than not I feel like I’m the only one struggling against these currents of uncertainty.

I’ve been talking to my lovely, close friends, and my counselor – all of whom suggest i just get out there and try – try whatever strikes my fancy, not worrying about the possibility of failure.

I talk about and think about doing things more often than I actually do them.

Am I the only one who struggles with this?  What do you do to overcome those moments of uncertainty, those moments where you question yourself?

Traveling mercies,


5 thoughts on “The Truth

  1. It’s mid life crisis time! :)

    As time goes on I become more and more aware and likewise convinced that I have absolutely no clue what is coming next. And whenever I think I might have an idea it’s comical how wrong I always am.

    All of that has basically taught me that ad-libbing through life is not really a bad thing. You take each new thing as it comes. And man do those things come your way when you least expect them.

    Two and a half years ago I was working from my basement wondering if and how I’d ever again meet someone of the opposite sex who might be interested in me.

    Now I’m living in a new house with a lovely wife.

    A few years before that I was living in isolation in the Alaskan wilderness after my fiancee changed her mind about marrying me wondering how my life had fallen apart so dramatically.

    All my plans are for naught. And your’s probably are going to be too. But look at what you have, have faith, and grab on for the ride of your life. It’s actually kind of exciting. :)

    • Thanks, Jamie.

      I know I speak for Rebecca as when when I say that we’re blessed to know you. :)

      Hey, what does your guys’ schedule look like on Sunday, August 15th? We were hoping to get down to PDX for a visit, but wanted to confirm with you guys first before just showing up.

  2. Marffy and I would love to have you come visit. We’ve even got a room you guys can stay in if you need to spend the night that weekend for any reason. Will definitely be looking forward to it if you guys can make it.

  3. I know what you mean Josh!

    My plans have changed 2 or 3 times in the last year. Nothing is solid, life is a constant sea of change. I’m rolling with it. I’m going to go get my certificate in phlebotomy, but continue school to earn my psych degree. Who knows… maybe one day I’ll actually be at a place where I can do memory research, it’s just not feasible while having to help provide for my family…

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