i got into a conversation with my therapist today about how i’ve often struggled with comparing myself to other people.
i struggle with my perception of how friends have it all together, how life is (in a nutshell) perfect for them.
i see friends’ marriages and partnerships with their significant other blossom and flourish and i wish beyond all wishes that mine would do the same.
note: marriage is damn hard. don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise, princess.
a young jack pine. image from wikipedia
i then told my therapist about a couple of friends that i have that seemed to have the perfect marriage.
i won’t go into details here in order to protect them, but let’s just say their relationship was far from perfect. when i heard about the major life-changing things they had to deal with as a couple, i was surprised: if anyone had this whole relationship thing figured out, surely it would’ve been these two. however, despite the challenges they’ve met along the way, they are a stronger couple because of them.
my therapist then told me about the jack pine – it’s a tree that is native to canada east of the rocky mountains. the fascinating things about these trees is that their cones that contain their seeds only open in heat – when a fire occurs. for the tree to reproduce in a natural environment, the original tree has to die in a forest fire so the cones can open up and reseed the burnt ground.
i couldn’t help but think about this in real life: sometimes, to be given a second chance, to start anew, we have to experience the fires that life brings our way. the possibility for rebirth is there, we’ve just got to be willing to go through life’s storms to get there.
going through life fires has a way of refining us, of making us stronger. sure, we may get knocked down, but we can rise again.